Klaine Advent Day 10 – jigsaw
i don’t do this. ever. i get antsy about posting ‘smut’, because i really don’t write it and certainly not well. i write in euphemisms and allusions. i write in pictures and emotions. those words don’t fit with how i write. but anyway. smut. sort of.
7x100. again. maybe an r, for sex, kinda?.
It’s not perfect, the first time. It’s clumsy, and awkward, and embarrassing. Blaine’s skin is beautiful, his body amazing, and Kurt’s hands are reverent everywhere they touch. He wants it to feel like worship, but his ears are flushed pink. He’s never been this deliberately naked with anyone before, and vulnerability hammers in his chest. Blaine’s touch on his shoulders and waist is calming, though. It grounds him.
It’s over almost before it’s begun, in the end, and Kurt blushes down his chest. Blaine’s eyes shine with love, though, and it’s okay. “Love you,” he breathes. Kurt can only nod.
“Burt?” Carol called out as she walked into the den. “The UPS man just dropped off a package for us.”
“What is it?” Burt asked as he flipped his recliner into an upright position.
“I didn’t open it yet, but it has a New York return address. Must be from the boys.”
“That’s strange. They usually just bring our Christmas presents with ‘em. I hope they don’t think they’re getting out of coming this year.”
“Here. Open it,” Carol shrugged as she handed the package to her husband.
Burt pulled the tab on the end of the package and tilted it until another smaller box slid out into his lap with a loud rattle. “Well, it’s not a present. Not even wrapped. It’s noisy though!” Burt turned the plain brown box over in his hands until he noticed some words stenciled in black on the top.
“What does that say?” Carol leaned over the back of his chair trying to read the words on the box.
“Coming: Spring 2017,” Burt read aloud.
“Oh! I bet Blaine got a new show!” Carol said as she sat on the arm of Burt’s recliner. “Or maybe Kurt got a piece in the spring line. You know how they like announcing these things in fun ways! Well, open it!”
Burt pulled the top off the box to find a dozen puzzle pieces scattered inside. “It’s a jigsaw,” he said with a laugh.
Carol slid the t.v. tray over from beside Burt’s chair. Burt dumped the pieces out and began flipping each piece over.
“What the hell?” he grumbled. “How am I supposed to do this without a picture. All these pieces are just black and white and grey fuzzy blots.”
Carol picked up a piece and studied it closely. “Oh my god, Burt!” she gasped as recognition settled in. “Give me this!”
With quick hands and a determined brow, Carol began sorting and slotting the pieces together. As each piece clicked into place, her pace quickened and her giggles grew louder and louder. As she placed the last piece in the center of the image, she danced her feet on the ground and clapped her hands in delight. “Yes!” she cried and pumped her fist in the air.
“What the hell is that?” Burt asked as he tilted his head in confusion.
“That, my love, is a message! Someone is going to be a grandpa!”
“What?” Burt said as he looked closer at the finished puzzle. Before him was a fuzzy, white peanut shape on a darker grey and black background. Across the bottom of the image were the words “Baby Hummel/Anderson.” Burt leapt to his feet, knocking Carol off the arm of his chair and the t.v. tray over. As puzzle pieces scattered on the floor at his feet, he shook his fist in front of his chest and yelled, “Yes! I’m gonna be a grandpa! Oh, sorry, honey!”
“It’s okay Burt!” Carol said with a smile as she picked herself up off the floor. “We’re gonna be grandparents! Oh, I think I’m gonna cry!”
“Cry later! Where’s the damn phone? I gotta call my boys!”
"Hi everyone! I’m Kurt Hummel. Welcome to another episode of Simply Delicious. Please welcome my special guest for today: singer, songwriter, actress, and my very good friend, Santana Lopez."
"Well, I wouldn’t say very good friend…”
“Shut it. Today, we’re going to learn how to make a kid-friendly version of paella, for all those precocious little tykes like I was, who just can’t seem to resist trying out a new recipe in the kitchen.”
"Yes, because that’s something I’m sure everyone can relate to.”
"Isn’t she charming, folks? Now, the meat in our dish today is chicken, because it’s easy to find and easy to cook compared with other meats. Santana, can you explain why we might not want to experiment with seafood on our first try?"
"I don’t know Kurt, I think everyone should try out the taste of fish if they get the opportunity. See how they like it.”
"I mean, we all know how you feel about cock, but -"
"Santana Lopez everyone!"